Embedded Files
Unit 3: Children and Domestic Violence
Unit 3 Table of Contents
Introduction
As mentioned in Unit 2, domestic violence can negatively affect not only survivors, but also the people in their lives (Riger, Raja, & Camacho, 2002). Children and adolescents who experience domestic violence are at especially heightened risk for a range of negative effects on their physical, mental, and behavioral health (Felitti et al., 1998; Moylan et al., 2010).
Regardless of your role, it is essential that you have a basic understanding of these effects and some familiarity with current best practices for working with children experiencing domestic violence. For example, it is typically more effective to work with survivors and their children together versus working with only the child/children or only the survivor (Holt, Buckley, & Whelan, 2008). The overall goal of this unit is to provide basic understanding and familiarity with the needs of and services for children who experience domestic violence.
We recognize that this is a sensitive subject that deserves much more attention than we can give in this brief training. In particular, there is abundant research on child abuse and its enduring effects on health and wellbeing. We encourage you to familiarize yourself with this literature, some of which can be found in the references and resources units of this training. In this unit, we touch upon child abuse only in terms of its overlap with domestic violence.
Finally, a note about language: We use “children who experience domestic violence” instead of "witness" or "exposed to" domestic violence. The rationale is that the term witness does not include hearing the incident or seeing the aftermath, and exposure implies that children are somehow passive in the process rather than directly affected and, at times, engaged in the altercation (Callaghan, Alexander, Sixsmith, & Fellin, 2015; Holt et al., 2008). The next section explores this issue in more depth.
Learning Objectives
Describe the multiple ways in which children can experience domestic violence
Explain the relationship between domestic violence and child abuse
Explain the range of ways in which experiencing domestic violence can affect children
Describe best practices for intervening with children experiencing domestic violence
Describe why supporting children requires supporting the survivor and often the whole family
Chapter 1: Children's Experiences of Domestic Violence
People often equate experiencing domestic violence with witnessing it. Although children are often physically present during an incident (especially children aged 0-5; Fantuzzo & Fusco, 2007), bearing witness is only one of a variety of ways and situations in which children can experience domestic violence.
Experiences of domestic violence can include when children:
Are in the home (or nearby) and hear the abusive incident occurring.
Witness the direct aftermath of an incident.
For example, they might come home to the abused parent (or caretaker) crying and tending to physical injuries, the police responding to the incident, or an atmosphere of lingering tension and stress.
Sense the fear and anxiety of the abused parent (or caretaker).
Feel generally unsafe in the home.
Are used as a tool to control the survivor.
For example, having the child tell the survivor to "stay" in the residence and/or relationship and using the child to monitor the survivor's whereabouts (Edleson, 1999b, Callaghan et al., 2015; Fantuzzo & Fusco, 2007; Beeble, Bybee & Sullivan, 2007). These tactics are a threat to survivors' safety plans.
Are used indirectly as a tool to manipulate and control a survivor,
This can be in the form of emotional abuse. Examples include insulting the survivor as a parent ("If you get a job, you're a bad mom") or threatening to harm or kidnap the child if the survivor does not obey the abusive person's demands (Meier, 2003; Beeble et al., 2007; Callaghan et al., 2015).
This can also be in the form of "paper abuse" (Miller & Smolter, 2011), which includes using the court system and child protective services to exhaust the survivor financially and emotionally. For example, filing a motion for custody or to change the custodial plans, which guarantees contact and conflict between the two parents (Miller & Smolter, 2011; Callaghan et al., 2015).
At its most extreme, an abusive partner might charge the survivor with parental alienation. Parental alienation alleges that one parent is trying to cut ties or alienate the other parent without cause or validity. If a survivor is charged with this, it creates a no win situation where s/he is trying to protect the child from harm by limiting contact with the abusive partner and could potentially then lose custody (Meier, 2003).
Are the indirect targets of physical violence. This can occur when the child gets in the way during an incident, either accidentally or purposefully intervening in an attempt to protect the survivor (Edleson, 1999b).
Are the direct targets of emotional, physical, and sexual violence. We discuss this issue in more two in Chapter 2 of this unit.
It is important to remember that the experiences just described can be just as traumatizing to a child as directly seeing the abusive incident or being the recipient of physical abuse (Edleson, 1999b; Moylan et al., 2010; Sousa et al., 2011), and thus warrant connecting children to services and other supports.
Tips for when a child discloses domestic violence
It is not uncommon for children to disclose that there is domestic violence in the home. You might not be sure how you handle the situation, so it’s important to be as prepared as you can be for the possibility. Inevitably, your professional role, the child's age, the level of danger, and other factors will shape your response; however, here we provide some things to consider.
Respond to the child in a calm, supportive, and affirming way. Be sure to validate whatever feelings the child expresses and thank him or her for sharing with you. Depending on the age of the child, listen to what he or she wants from you and be honest about the steps that you need to take next.
Seek consultation. Contact your supervisor, and, if needed, consult with a domestic violence program or child welfare agency to help you think through safety issues and assess risk. You can call a domestic violence hotline, the NASW ethics hotline, or someone at the Department of Children and Families without revealing the identity of the family.
Know if you are a mandated reporter. If the child is currently in a dangerous situation and it is safe to do so, talk with the family and explain your role as a mandated reporter before making the appropriate report. More information on mandated reporting can be found in Unit 5 of this training, which focuses on the legal system in domestic violence cases.
In Massachusetts, domestic violence in and of itself does not warrant child welfare intervention. State reporting rules vary, however, so be sure to check if you are working elsewhere.
Generally, if you are going to talk with parents, the child should know about your concern and your decision. If you do talk with parents, it is important that you first speak with the non-abusive parent and assess the situation before speaking with the parent who is using abusive behaviors, if at all. This last situation is very complicated, and must be handled delicately and safely. (See Unit 4 for more information on working with people who use violence and coercive behaviors).
Chapter 2: Overlap between Domestic Violence and Child Abuse
Intimate partner violence and child abuse often – but not always – co-occur. Estimates indicate that in approximately 40% of intimate partner violence situations, child abuse is also occurring (Appel & Holden, 1998; Edleson, 1999a; Herrenkohl, Sousa, Tajima, Herrenkohl, & Moylan 2008).
Child maltreatment and abuse comprises four categories: physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and neglect (Leeb, Paulozzi, Melanson, Simon, & Arias, 2008). Physical, emotional, and sexual abuse are considered acts of commission where something is actively and intentionally happening to the child. Neglect can be physical, emotional, educational, or medical and is defined by an act of omission, something that isn't being done that needs to happen for the child's wellbeing (Leeb et al., 2008). It is estimated that approximately 1 out of 4 children experience neglect or abuse at some point in their life, with physical neglect being the most common (Finkelhor, Turner, Ormond, & Hamby, 2013; U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2012).
Because of the overlap between intimate partner violence and child abuse, it is important that child advocates and adult advocates be on alert for signs of violence when working with families. If you are working with an adult who is experiencing intimate partner violence, be sure to consider whether child abuse is also occurring. Similarly, if you are working with an abused or neglected child, be sure to consider whether partner violence is also occurring. In addition to being able to assist the survivor, knowing that he or she is also being abused might explain some of that person’s parenting and other behaviors, especially if there is a high level of coercion and control. Chapter 5 of this unit and Unit 6 provide additional information on strategies for supporting survivors and their children.
Chapter 3: Effects of Experiencing Domestic Violence on Children
An abundance of literature suggests that experiencing domestic violence can have immediate and long-term effects on children (e.g., Dube et al., 2002; Felitti et al., 1998; Listenbee et al., 2012). However, a variety of risk and protective factors – and how they intersect – determine whether, how, and to what extent domestic violence affects a child. We discuss several of these factors before describing potential effects of domestic violence on children.
Risk factors
As discussed in Unit 2, the presence of certain factors can exacerbate the effects of experiencing violence. For children, experiencing other forms of violence in addition to domestic violence is particularly harmful. Evidence from the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACEs) has demonstrated that experiencing multiple forms of violence (e.g., community violence, child abuse, domestic violence, poverty) substantially increases children’s risk for developing a range of negative physical and mental health outcomes (Felitti et al., 1998; Dube et al., 2002; Cronholm et al., 2015). In addition, the risk of negative outcomes increases for children whose parents or caretakers are abusing substances, struggling with mental illness, incarcerated, and raising children alone (Cronholm et al., 2015; Edleson, 1997).
Age and developmental stage are also important; growing evidence demonstrates that experiencing domestic violence (and other forms of trauma) during childhood can impair brain development and functioning (see Teichler & Sampson, 2016 for a comprehensive review). This evidence is particularly concerning given children under the age of six are more likely to be present during violence than their older peers (Fantuzzo & Fusco, 2007). These risk factors underscore the importance of supporting parents and families when serving children, a point we discuss in more detail in Chapter 4 of this unit.
Protective factors
Risk factors notwithstanding, children can be very resilient (see Davies & Lyon 2014 for a review). A child’s resiliency is due in part to the presence of certain protective factors that can alleviate the effects of experiencing domestic violence (and other forms of trauma). One of the most important of these factors is a secure attachment with the non-violent parent or other close adult, such as a family member or teacher (Holt et al., 2008). Others include, but are not limited to, a supportive community network, internal coping skills, healthy self-esteem, locus of control, and access to health or social services (Davies & Lyon, 2014; Edleson, 1997; Holt et al., 2008). In Chapter 4 of this unit, we discuss interventions aimed at developing and strengthening those protective factors in children’s lives.
Potential effects of domestic violence on children who experience it
With these risk and protective factors in mind, below is a list of possible effects on children organized by developmental phase. This list was developed by Elena Cohen (2013), and we added additional effects based on input from other expert practitioners (noted with an asterisk). We encourage you to review the full document here, as there are very helpful recommendations for working with children based on the effects they are demonstrating.
It is essential that everyone – regardless of whether you work directly with children – be aware of the range of possible effects of DV on children (Listenbee et al., 2012; Spears, 2000). Such knowledge can reduce the chance of overlooking, misinterpreting, or – if applicable to your role – misdiagnosing behaviors that you observe directly or hear about from parents. For example, you might think that an infant who is silent for long periods of time is well-behaved, or you might be quick to diagnose a child who is overly aggressive at school with “oppositional defiant disorder.” These behaviors, however, might be a result of experiencing domestic violence or other types of violence, and, if so, require trauma-informed responses (Listenbee et al., 2012).
Chapter 4: Interventions for Children Experiencing Domestic Violence
Appropriate interventions depend on the age and developmental stage of the child. That said, they typically have three main goals: safety (immediate and long-term), emotional support, and social support. We discuss each before turning to interventions geared to or that also involve parents. Please note that Unit 6 of this training contains a wealth of resources with information on services and interventions for children experiencing domestic violence.
Safety Planning with Children
When safety planning with children, it is important to talk with and support the non-abusive parent. This increases child safety and protective factors by strengthening the parent-child relationship.
For children under the age of four, direct safety planning is not usually recommended due to developmental stage. Very young children do not yet have the cognitive skills to reliably anticipate danger or make decisions about which strategies to use. However, older children can think with you about how they have kept themselves safe and what they can do in the future to stay protected. Relevant questions include:
Where can you hide?
Whom can you call?
Is there a safe adult you can stay with?
Do you know how to call 911?
What have you been doing already to keep safe?
When you are safety planning with children who are old enough to use phones, computers and other such devices, be sure to ask about their technology use and brainstorm ways to safely use devices and social media. It is important that they know that posting to any social media site that publishes their location can be dangerous for them and their family, especially if they are in hiding from an abusive parent. Also, if the abusive parent pays for the device, that person can access GPS and other tracking devices. Because the child might not know who pays for their devices, it is important to include the non-abusive parent in the conversation about technology safety.
Finally, safety planning may also involve adults in other settings such as day cares or schools. This depends on the severity of the situation and should be done in conjunction with the non-abusive parent. Creating safety plans in multiple environments helps to keep the child safe and increase his or her support network.
Emotional Support
Children's loyalty to both parents should be respected. It is very important to avoid demonizing the abusive parent or casting judgment when talking with the child. A child's fear of a parent does not prevent love and attachment, and it is common for children to feel torn between love for the parent, and knowing what he or she did is wrong. It is important to validate the confusion and give support in a non-judgmental way.
As with any upsetting experience, it is helpful for the child if someone listens and acknowledges their distress. However, it does not help to insist on a child's telling or retelling the story. Children are often reluctant to talk about abuse in their home, perhaps out of shame, loyalty, or fear of consequences. It can also lead to re-traumatization or trigger a flashback. Drawings and/or play can help young children tell their story and express their feelings without having to be verbally explicit.
Social support
It is often easier to enhance protective factors than to decrease the risk of violence. This means identifying adults who can be allies for the child in staying safe and in seeking physical and psychological protection and comfort. And, beyond simply identifying those individuals, it is important, if possible, to safety plan with them and brainstorm strategies for how to protect the child.
Support within the child's natural environment is important. Safe adults in the family or the neighborhood are resources, as are teachers, other school personnel, and coaches/instructors. These people are built into the child's life and already have a relationship with them. They are, therefore, much more likely to be a continuous and long-term presence in the child's life than are specialized referrals (e.g., domestic violence advocate, child counselor, pediatrician).
Chapter 5: Working with Children Requires Supporting Families
Children are part of a larger family system with its own dynamics and challenges. To best support children, we must also support the survivors who parent them (Listenbee et al., 2012). As discussed in this training, domestic violence can affect survivors’ physical, mental, social, and financial health, which subsequently can hinder their parenting capacity (Holt et al., 2008).
In some cases, supporting children involves supporting survivors and their family members and friends (Listenbee et al., 2012). And, finally, in some cases, it means supporting the entire family unit, which includes the parent who is or has been using abusive behaviors. This last situation is complicated, and must be handled delicately and safely. However, it is important to remember that many survivors and their children are in contact with abusive partners and might want and need help for that person. (See Unit 4 for more information on working with people who use abusive behaviors).
Ways to support children by supporting families:
Working to strengthen the parent-child relationship through activities such as playing together, encouraging the survivor to help with homework, or facilitating discussions that focus on tough or sensitive topics
Discussing parenting techniques with survivors and other family members to strengthen the family bond and support the child
Providing information about the effects of trauma on children to help survivors and other family members make sense of the child's behavior
Brainstorming strategies to keep children safe when the abusive partner is present
Make an effort to ensure that tasks (e.g., intakes) and environments (e.g., offices, shelter spaces) are child-friendly
Supporting survivors and the people in their network to access tangible resources that, when absent, can impede healthy parenting skills and safer environments
Understanding that interventions aimed at improving children's internal processes will be ineffective if the negative environment surrounding the child remains unchanged
Collaborating with and learning from the other systems that are involved in families' lives (Listenbee et al., 2012; Spears 2000). In their report to the Attorney General, The National Task Force on Children Exposed to Domestic Violence offered recommendations to protect children including the need for "collaborative responses by police, mental health providers, domestic violence advocates, child protective service workers, and court personnel" (Listenbee et al., 2012, p. 111).
There are now many helpful tools to help with supporting parents and children simultaneously. This tool from Futures Without Violence is directed at domestic violence advocates but can be helpful to people across a range of roles. Please see Unit 6 for additional resources.
Barriers to supporting the families
We recognize that supporting families can be challenging due to a range of organizational-level, staff-level, and family-level factors – some of which are listed below. It is important to be aware of these factors and, when possible, work towards addressing them within your organization and self.
Organizational level
Lack of funding for child or family services
Culture, policies, and practices that keep children's services separate from adult services
Inability or unwillingness to collaborate with other systems (e.g., collaboration between domestic violence services and child welfare system historically has been difficult)
Staff level
Lack of knowledge or negative attitudes toward parents experiencing domestic violence
Lack of knowledge about the negative effects of domestic violence on children
Fear that working on parenting skills with survivors will come across as judgmental or blaming
Unclear how to balance autonomy of survivor with needs of the child
Disagreement with survivors' parenting practices
Family level
Abusive partner won't allow children to receive services
Survivor doesn't recognize the need for children to receive services
Potentially dangerous for the child to receive services
Unit 3 Quiz
You have the option to move immediately to the next unit or to take this quiz for Unit 3. Follow the directions to take the quiz below. This quiz is designed to help you review the material covered in Unit 3 in preparation for your CEU Quiz. You will see your results immediately after you submit this quiz. This review quiz is not worth any CEUs.
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